Biblical Forgiveness

I wrote this for a Ladies get together at our church & wanted to share it here. Some details have been changed for privacy.

1 Corinthians 5:9–13 (NKJV) — 9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. 12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”

I know this isn’t exactly light hearted stuff but the Lord has put this on my heart so here we go.  I want to talk about Biblical Forgiveness. What ‘we’ as believers & as a church are called to do in certain situations.

As believers we are to extend grace. We are to forgive & to love.

 But sometimes, I think we get so worried about NOT being judgmental that we forget that there are times, there are situations where we are instructed by God NOT to extend the hand of fellowship. And we even go so far as to unfairly judge other believers whom we feel are being judgmental & harsh when truly they are simply following Gods word.

Some of you may recall praying for my friend & her marriage last year. She was a close friend of mine. I thought of her like a sister. I have stayed in her home more than once. She meant a great deal to me. A year ago she admitted that she was having an affair. She was fairly open about it & our close circle of friends began to pray fervently & to try to listen & to give wise council. She played along for several months but 1 by 1 those of us who questioned how she could continue on her path (as a professing believer) were cut off.  She went on to divorce her husband of 22 years. Move in with her boyfriend. And at this time her 6 children ~ages 18 down to 6~ are shuttled back & forth between their father’s house & the house she shares with her boyfriend. And she still professes to be a believer.

This had a very strong impact on our circle of friends & still continues to. Many of those who are still friendly with her question those of us who have chosen to not continue in friendship. Just recently we were accused of lacking in grace.  But, I ask you, what does the Bible say?

1 Corinthians 5:11 (NKJV) — 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.

That’s pretty clear. Not fun & not easy but clear.

Some have argued that we should continue to reach out in love & grace in hopes of winning the sinner back.

If the person who has fallen expresses repentance & asks for forgiveness absolutely we should extend grace.

 But if there is NO repentance there is no reconciliation.

And if the person, by their actions, words or deeds is determined to NOT be a believer we also extend grace & do not expect the same behavior as we expect from a believer.

But for those professing belief, calling upon the Lords name & expressing NO repentance we are “not even to eat with such a person”

But, you say, how then can they receive the Lords love? How then can they seek forgiveness? That is between them & the Lord. They do not require us to intercede.

After all, if there is no consequence to their sin why would they choose to stop it?

In today’s world all that was once seen as sin, universally, is now seen as normal. Everybody lives together outside of marriage.  Having a baby out of wedlock is no big deal.  Abortion is a ‘choice’. Divorce just ‘happens’. If you aren’t happy move on.

And as much as we don’t want to admit it: much of that acceptance is because we as a church  stopped following God’s plan & started extending grace in an unbiblical manner.

Now please understand I am not saying we are to hate anybody. Or that we are to be mean to anybody or that we withhold kindness from anybody. But we are to withhold our special brand of Christian fellowship from anybody who is continuing in sin. We are to reserve that for other believers who are in good standing with the Lord and the fellowship.

We are to teach our children that God’s plan is the best plan. Not just because ‘we’ say so but because it is so.

Even when everybody on TV is living together. Even when our family or friends or people we knew in school or even people we might go to church with are living together or having sex outside of marriage or ‘experimenting with alternative lifestyles’ or whatever socially acceptable sin you want to name.

We are called to hold ourselves apart. To be in the world but not of it. Which is not always easy to do. But I encourage you, I encourage all of us, to strive to follow the Lord’s plan. To strive to extend grace to those who need it but not to compromise ourselves & our testimony by confusing outright non-repentant sin with a need for grace.

And I encourage all of us especially to not become so caught up in extending grace to the obvious sinner that we forget to encourage & congratulate those who have worked hard to follow God’s plan.

 The young couples who save themselves for their wedding day. The young girls who choose to dress modestly. The young people who stay in the church & ground themselves in God’s word.  Those who chose to forgo an easier life & instead follow the lords leading into missions.

We need to be sure that they get grace & love & encouragement from us even more than those who are fallen.

Often we hear "it's okay whatever someone does as long as they love the Lord."

Have you heard that one before?

 Is it okay whatever someone does as long as they love the Lord?

Can you show me that in the Bible? Anywhere? No. You cannot because it is not in there.

And it is NOT okay to do whatever you want as long as you say you love the Lord.

 But for too long, too many Christians have let that slide in the name of grace.

 And that is how situations like my friends come into being. She was raised in a Christian family where everyone is a professing believer but no one  has ever told her it’s not okay to have sex outside of marriage.

 It’s not okay to move your children in & play house with someone you are not married to.

Standing up for what we believe is never easy.

 And it is usually not fun.

 But if we don’t stand up for our beliefs what is going to stop our children from falling down for someone elses?

I close with this thought, when people stop believing in God (and His Word) they do not believe in nothing, rather, they believe in anything.

Many of the examples of my life and yours would say that they believe in the Bible.

 Hebrews 4:11-12 says, “Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.  For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

 It is the Word of God and the Holy Spirit that must be counted on to deal with the unrepentant and rebellious while we keep ourselves pure.

Blessings.