We've all read the statistics.
Seen the data.
Watched the 'specials' on telly.
All about 1st born children & their many advantages.
How they are smarter, taller, prettier, faster, able to jump tall buildings in a single bound, stronger than a silent 'e'...
How they have the advantage in the family dynamic & we, as parents, spent more time & put more energy into them...
I don't believe any of it for a second.
I feel sorry for firstborn children.
Especially my firstborn child.
They are guinea pigs.
Experimental children.
We have no idea AT ALL what we are doing with them.
We don't know how to feed them or dress them or discipline them or educate them.
They are the ones we read all the books with. We listen to the 'experts' with. We believe all the magazine articles with.
We flounder through their lives.
What should they be allowed to watch on TV & for how long? Do we spank? Do we use *time out* ? Do we ground them? Do they get an allowance? What chores are appropriate & at what age? When should they be allowed to do this? Or that? Or the other thing?
By the 2nd or 3rd child, we usually have a few things figured out. We have a pattern. A plan. Files full of data on what *didn't* work the first time (oops).
We are getting our groove thing on.
But that poor innocent firstborn? By now they are a neurotic mess & it is ALL OUR FAULT.
We have ruined them forever.
Sigh.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Now, for the record, most firstborn children turn out just fine. They overcome our mistakes & go on with their lives. They may even thrive & continue to carry out the fallacy that firstborns are overachievers & perfectionists.
The truth is they are survivors.
White lab rats that escaped & made their way to freedom.
And, if they are good children, they may not even hold it against you.
But we still know.
We still look back & remember. And cringe.
And shake our heads in horror & ask *WHAT were we thinking?*
And maybe, just maybe, call or text a quick *I love you* to our firstborn child which is, in fact, the cowards way of saying "I am really sorry you were my experimental child & I hope you don't actually remember all of the mistakes & dumb things I said & did & I really really do love you & I am so happy you turned out *normal* despite me...."
Or maybe that's just me...
Blessings.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Brotherly Love
My 16 year old is an awesome young man.
I am not sure his younger siblings realize just how awesome he is.
Oh, sure, he has his moments.
He gets crabby. He snaps at them. A day doesn't go by when at least when of his little brothers isn't put in a choke hold & demanded to give up the location of the rebel base, but for the most part, he's a good guy.
He reads to his little brothers.
He plays Go Fish at least twice a day.
He punches out mean guys who pick on his sister.
And he brings change **every week** for his little brothers to put in the offering plate.
His own money.
I never remember money for them (which is probably why he started bringing it).
And putting pennies in the offering plate is the highlight of Sundays doncha know?
He even remembers when he is running the soundboard & will hurry back between songs to give his brothers their money.
Yup.
He's a keeper.
And he makes super fabulous muffins with jam in them...
Blessings.
I am not sure his younger siblings realize just how awesome he is.
Oh, sure, he has his moments.
He gets crabby. He snaps at them. A day doesn't go by when at least when of his little brothers isn't put in a choke hold & demanded to give up the location of the rebel base, but for the most part, he's a good guy.
He reads to his little brothers.
He plays Go Fish at least twice a day.
He punches out mean guys who pick on his sister.
And he brings change **every week** for his little brothers to put in the offering plate.
His own money.
I never remember money for them (which is probably why he started bringing it).
And putting pennies in the offering plate is the highlight of Sundays doncha know?
He even remembers when he is running the soundboard & will hurry back between songs to give his brothers their money.
Yup.
He's a keeper.
And he makes super fabulous muffins with jam in them...
Blessings.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Chili. An Evolutionary Tale
We are planning a camping trip in a month or so & being the OCD super organized person that I am, I am already planning our menu.
I am thinking chili for one meal.
Chili these days, is a somewhat complicated endeavor (which is why I try to make ginormous pots of it & can the extra, which is what I am starting tonight).
The whole process got me to thinking how easy chili is for some folks...in fact, how easy it used to be for me.
Way back at the dawn of time, before I could actually cook, "chili for dinner" meant opening a couple cans of whatever brand was cheapest at the grocery store. If I was feeling really ambitious I would 'customize' my chili with grated cheese & fresh chopped tomatoes.
Sigh. It was so easy back then. Not healthy in the slightest or even very tasty realistically but E.A.S.Y.
Okay, fast forward a few years, my mother-in-law gave me first crockpot (the coolest & most useful invention since the flush toilet) & I started to make 'homemade' chili.
I used canned beans, canned tomato sauce, store bought meat, packaged spices & bullion cubes. Still not super healthy but quite a bit tastier than the canned.
Homemade, but still easy. That was our staple for quite a while.
The next step in this process was switching over to dry beans. No more cans. No more 'easy' chili. Now I had to think ahead. Plan. Who's idea was this anyway?
So now we soak our own beans, we need to make our own spice mix too right? Right.
And by now we raised our own meat, canned my own sauce , mixed my own spices...that's got to be it right?
Nope. Because now, right now, I am making chili. The beans are soaking & because bullion is full of MSG & my husband is severely allergic to MSG, we can't use bullion anymore.
And because we are low on beef in the freezer I can't just chunk some ground beef in there.
So instead I am soaking beans AND boiling down soup bones. Which will cook all night & then tomorrow I will pick the meat, strain the broth, chuck the bones & everything will be thrown in the stock pot.
Beef, broth, home canned tomato sauce, soaked beans, fresh from the garden onions, *my* spice mix ~ nothing easy or quick about it. (which is why I make gallons of it & can it :) ).
Nothing easy but it's good & it's healthy. No preservatives. No hormones. No MSG. No pesticides. No yucky nothings.
Which is a good feeling.
But I confess... when I have to do all. of. that. stuff. before we go camping & have to plan & prep & & & ...I might, just maybe (kinda sorta) *miss* being able to stick a couple cans of chili into the trailer & call it good.
:)
Blessings.
I am thinking chili for one meal.
Chili these days, is a somewhat complicated endeavor (which is why I try to make ginormous pots of it & can the extra, which is what I am starting tonight).
The whole process got me to thinking how easy chili is for some folks...in fact, how easy it used to be for me.
Way back at the dawn of time, before I could actually cook, "chili for dinner" meant opening a couple cans of whatever brand was cheapest at the grocery store. If I was feeling really ambitious I would 'customize' my chili with grated cheese & fresh chopped tomatoes.
Sigh. It was so easy back then. Not healthy in the slightest or even very tasty realistically but E.A.S.Y.
Okay, fast forward a few years, my mother-in-law gave me first crockpot (the coolest & most useful invention since the flush toilet) & I started to make 'homemade' chili.
I used canned beans, canned tomato sauce, store bought meat, packaged spices & bullion cubes. Still not super healthy but quite a bit tastier than the canned.
Homemade, but still easy. That was our staple for quite a while.
The next step in this process was switching over to dry beans. No more cans. No more 'easy' chili. Now I had to think ahead. Plan. Who's idea was this anyway?
So now we soak our own beans, we need to make our own spice mix too right? Right.
And by now we raised our own meat, canned my own sauce , mixed my own spices...that's got to be it right?
Nope. Because now, right now, I am making chili. The beans are soaking & because bullion is full of MSG & my husband is severely allergic to MSG, we can't use bullion anymore.
And because we are low on beef in the freezer I can't just chunk some ground beef in there.
So instead I am soaking beans AND boiling down soup bones. Which will cook all night & then tomorrow I will pick the meat, strain the broth, chuck the bones & everything will be thrown in the stock pot.
Beef, broth, home canned tomato sauce, soaked beans, fresh from the garden onions, *my* spice mix ~ nothing easy or quick about it. (which is why I make gallons of it & can it :) ).
Nothing easy but it's good & it's healthy. No preservatives. No hormones. No MSG. No pesticides. No yucky nothings.
Which is a good feeling.
But I confess... when I have to do all. of. that. stuff. before we go camping & have to plan & prep & & & ...I might, just maybe (kinda sorta) *miss* being able to stick a couple cans of chili into the trailer & call it good.
:)
Blessings.
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