The Truth About Your Pastor's Wife

It has recently come to my attention that many folks truly have no concept of what it is to be a Pastor's Wife.

In fact, a friend actually asked me "Why should the Pastor's Wife give more to the church than anyone else?"

I took that as a 2 pronged question:

A) Does the Pastor's Wife do more?

and

B) If she does more; why? 

That struck me as as naive at best but more so out of touch.

All of the Pastor's Wives I know are fundamentally a part of their husband's ministry. 

They are in fact a team.

Without her, he cannot do his thing, he cannot be the Pastor that he is called to be.

(Which is another point I will only briefly touch: being a Pastor is not a job. It is a calling. Do not confuse the 2. My husband has a job. I am not a part of that in any real way. But his ministry? We do together.)

And even if, for some reason, you feel the Pastor's Wife is not a part of his ministry, if you perceive that she is not any more involved with the church than you are, remember this:

Your Pastor's Wife is married to YOUR Pastor. The man you have chosen to be your shepherd. And even if she never does anything visible in the church that you can see  - other than sitting alone every single Sunday while her husband stands up front and teaches you, that is-  what you need to remember or maybe even just realize, is that every single Pastor's Wife has given up her  "All Access Pass" to her own husband so that you and every single person who walks into that church can have a piece of him whenever you need it. 

In my eyes, that alone should earn her your respect.

Most people realize the role that a soldiers wife makes. They realize that in order for that soldier to do his job his wife has to make sacrifices. She has to sacrifice her time with her husband when he is deployed. She has to run the home & parent their children alone while he serves and protects others. We can see those sacrifices and we respect them and are thankful to the soldier AND his wife for making them. 

It is not all that dissimilar for a Pastor's Wife. Stay with me here...

Our husbands are not our own. Our family time is repeatedly interrupted by phone calls of people who need their pastor. 

They need counseling. They need prayer. They need to talk. They need someone to share the gospel with their great uncle Frank who is  in the hospital.

And they need these things in the middle of the night. During dinner. Early in the morning. They need them when they need them. They need to talk to the Pastor after church for a "quick question" that takes 2 hours while the Pastor's Wife and children sit around and their dinner dries out in the crockpot.

My husband is on call 24 hours a day every day. Not to mention Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, Wednesday evenings, Awana, Church Work Days, Deacon Meetings, outreaches, parades, community events, and on and on.

And for the Pastor, none of these things are optional. We very rarely get to skip anything because we are tired or have a 'family thing' or any other reason. 

Which means the pastors family is either there with him or somewhere else without him.

So the next time you wonder if the Pastor's Wife does or should do more than anyone else at the church just remember: YES! She does.

Just by the very nature of BEING THE PASTOR'S WIFE she gives more because she gives HER HUSBAND.

Just something to think about.

Blessings.