I can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. here and I just can't sleep. My husband is gone, I never sleep well without him. I expected him home last night but he won't be here until sometime today.
We're going thru something in our marriage. Something I thought only happened to "other people." It feels like there is a wall between us and it is lonely. I hate it. I hate the cause of it. I want to go back to how it was. But we can't go back. We can only go forward. I wish we could go far enough forward that this was just a dim memory.
My husband is everything to me. I am completely dependant upon him. Mentally, physically and emotionally. And right now I feel kind of bereft. Stranded. Maybe I should be "strong" and "independant", but I am not. I am weak and clingy.
Do you ever wonder what we're supposed to learn by what God let's us go thru? What exactly am I supposed to take away from this experience?
I wonder if our kids feel that way about the lessons we teach them? There's a thought.
This is a deep valley. And it sucks in here. I hope I make it out soon. I miss the sun.
Blessings.
We sometimes have to go through the valley to see The Son. He is there with arms wrapped around you. He hears you when you cry and wants you to cling only unto Him.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you this day!
Amanda <><
II Corinthians 5:7
My prayers are with you. Our marriage has come out of the valley, and now on stronger higher ground....the lesson was hard but we grow stronger with every day...so can you, just trust in God...
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are going through this valley. I went through something similar 20 years ago. I too was totally dependent on my husband and in looking back I am pretty sure that is what the Lord was wanting me to see...........that I should be depending on Him instead. I wonder how old your husband is? I ask because a big part of the problem for us was he was going through his mid-life crisis right on schedule when he turned 40. It is a real issue for some guys, not much for others.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion for what it may be worth would be to give him a little space, I mean just not nagging and being clingy and see if that helps. Also, of course spend a lot of time in the word and prayer and turn your needs over to God. That is always hard to do, at least hard to leave our wants and needs with him. Let us know how we can pray for you.
Marilyn
Just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I've been through my own valley, and now that I'm on the other side, I can see things that I've learned from it. But other things... still don't make sense. Sigh. I guess I'll never know in this life the full extent of the reasons why things had to happen. You think maybe we're not supposed to know? Maybe we're just supposed to cling to Jesus' hand and trust that He's taking us wherever it is that He wants us to be.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for your marriage. I am praying that God will wrap His arms around you and show you His love. That He will encourage you. That He will touch your husband's heart.
If you guys ever watch movies, make a date of it and go see Fireproof. Good stuff. :-)
Keep your chin up, sweetheart. You're not alone.
praying for you.
ReplyDeletehugs,
Kaira
I'm praying for you as well. Those valleys are scary. Take it to God, only he can help. Pray for your husband, and pray that the Lord will reveal to you if there is something that you need to change.
ReplyDeletelove and prayers, Sarah